


Expectations

by velociraptor44



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, kyle x stan - Freeform, sp style, stan x kyle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8403967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velociraptor44/pseuds/velociraptor44
Summary: Stan and Kyle had always been close, closer than most best friends. But as they're getting older, it's becoming harder to figure out what being 'friends' really means. It's weird... they've never had a connection like that to anyone else before. Well, maybe that just means that they're really close. Yeah, that must be it...





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a pretty long one shot that goes through various stages in their lives from grade 9 up to first year of college. There are break points that represent time gaps, so if you want to break it up, I suggest to stop at those points. I could have made it multi-chapter, but I figure that would break the flow too much. Anyways, enjoy and let me know what you think if you want :)

“Kyle come on; it’s not like I’m asking you to jump off a bridge with me. It’s just a little Jager.” Stan insisted, pushing the bottle Kyle’s way. Kyle rolled his large green eyes, having heard this argument from his best friend one too many times. 

“How many times am I going to have to tell you ‘no’ before you believe that I mean it?” Kyle told him, trying to keep his voice low out of habit. 

“You don’t have to whisper; my parents are at a couple’s therapy retreat this weekend, remember?” Stan reminded him, raising one of his thick black eyebrows. “Dude seriously, I’m not asking much. It’s the night before high school starts and I want to remember this night. I wanna remember it with my super best friend.” Stan said with a smirk, recalling one of their fondest on-going jokes from childhood. 

“Stan, the answer is no.” Kyle declared with a little less force than the first time. 

Stan placed his hand on Kyle’s knee and looked up at him, “Listen, I know you probably think that I’m just being your dumb, alcohol-obsessed friend, but it’s not that. When I was younger, I used liquor to escape. I’d raid my dad’s cabinet just to have something to get me through the day. I drank when I was mad, sad, and just… whenever I felt pathetic. But now? Now I don’t want to drink for those reasons. I know that that was stupid and I regret it, but I wanna have my first drunk experience to be with you.” The raven haired boy went on. Kyle raised his eyebrow at him. 

“Um, how will this be your first drunk experience? You literally just went through telling me that you used liquor to cope for years.” 

The dark haired boy nodded, “Yeah, but coping isn’t the same thing as using it to enjoy myself; that’s something I’ve never done yet. I wanna just have fun with you.” Stan continued. “Ok, maybe not my first ‘official’ drunk experience, but it’d be my first happy one. I just… want us to make some good memories with alcohol; something I can use to replace some of the shitty ones with.” Stan explained, his eyes wide and pleading. Kyle felt a wave of sympathy wash over him: how could he look into eyes like that and feel anything else? 

“I know I’m going to regret this but…fine. Just this once.” Kyle said with a sigh. Stan’s eyes lit up as he wrapped his arms quickly and tightly around Kyle, his brain in a state of awe. 

“Wow, I never thought I’d ever hear you say that.” He added as he released him. Kyle shook his head in disbelief. 

“Yeah, neither did I.” Kyle sighed, watching as Stan’s eyes directed themselves towards the liquor cabinet. 

“Fogged glass or clear?” He questioned with a broad smile. Kyle rolled his eyes. 

“Dude, do you really think I care?” Kyle quipped. Stan laughed in response. The raven haired boy got up and examined the cabinet, opening up one of the glass doors after he made his decision and returned to sit crossed legged in front of his red haired friend. Stan placed a small clear glass in front of him and tipped the Jager forward, the amber coloured liquid flowing smoothly down. Once Stan had filled Kyle’s and his own up to the rim, he smirked and handed it to his best friend, his bright white teeth glowing almost as much as the light from the full moon that was illuminating the darkened room. 

“I think this goes without saying, but none of this leaves this room. I swear if Cartman and Kenny knew I drank, all they’d do is try to get me to drink with them whenever they hung out with me.” Kyle explained, picking up the small glass and swirling the liquid around inside, an uncertain look etched upon his angular face. 

“Dude, don’t worry. I won’t tell them.” Stan assured with certainty. “I’m just glad you chose to break your drinking virginity with me.” He added, trying to hold back his laughter. 

“God, you’re enjoying this a little too much.” Kyle pointed out to him, Stan only shrugging in response. 

“Maybe.” He told him with a wink, a wink that caught Kyle completely off-guard. Huh, Kyle thought, how…unlike Stan. 

“You ready?” The black haired boy questioned, raising his petite glass to eyelevel with Kyle. Kyle swallowed hard, knowing already by the smell that it wasn’t going to go down smoothly. At all. 

“Goddammit; I guess as ready as I’ll ever be.” He responded, his face already tensing up. 

“What’s that thing that Jews say when they cheer?” Stan asked, his glass within clinking distance of Kyle’s. 

“You mean lechaim?” Kyle suggested, Stan nodding at his answer. 

“Yeah that. Lechaim.” He called out, tapping his glass against the red head’s. Kyle rolled his eyes as he brought the liquid to his lips, his tongue already anticipating the stinging sensation that was about to come. Before Kyle could even ingest the liquid, Stan’s was already down, a wide-eyed look on his face to show is displeasure, but an experienced look; a look that said he didn’t like it, but he’d do it again. 

“Dude, just get it over with. It’ll be down before you know it.” Stan assured, waiting to see the look on Kyle’s face as he took his first shot. Kyle took a deep breath before tilting his head back, the cold liquor feeling hot as it slid down his throat. Kyle could hear Stan laugh as he watched his face contort, something he couldn’t control in the least. 

“Jesus; this tastes like ass. Remind me why we’re doing this again?” Kyle questioned, still getting over the foul taste in his mouth. Stan flashed him a grin as he handed him a water bottle as a chaser. 

“Oh you’ll see in about twenty minutes.” 

About half an hour and four shots later, Kyle was definitely feeling more than he ever felt by the end of any given Seder dinner’s portions of wine. There was a strange fuzziness that filled his core that was radiating out through his cheeks, and he was ever so reminded of the change by the amount of times his raven haired friend would touch them and comment on their warmth. 

“Dude, I’ve never seen your face so red. It’s like it matches your hair perfectly.” Stan laughed, the alcohol starting to take effect on him as well. Kyle shoved Stan lightly to the side, his light shove knocking him off balance. 

“Shut up.” He quipped, his eyelids drooping heavily as he flashed Stan as crooked smile. “What should we do now?” Kyle questioned, trying to regain some sanity. Stan shrugged his shoulders. 

“Whatever you want. I’m good with anything.” He stated, eyeballing the living room for anything worth doing. “All I can think of is Netflix.” 

Kyle raised an eyebrow at Stan, “So like, Netflix and chill?” He joked. Stan chuckled and shook his head. 

“You know what I mean. I bet we can find something.” He ventured. Kyle nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m sure we can.” He agreed, getting up and making his way over to the couch from the floor, or rather attempting to. His legs felt wobbly, so much so that he almost lost balance had it not been for Stan catching him as he was about to hit the couch. 

“I should’ve warned you, but the effects get even stronger when you stand up.” He added with an inerasable grin. 

“Thanks for telling me now.” Kyle added sassily, flopping onto the sofa he knew all so well. Kyle and Stan mindlessly flipped through the options for minutes on end, both of their brains barely able to focus on anything that was coming up. Eventually, Kyle accidently clicked on some old horror movie, so that was what they decided to go with, neither of them having the mental capacity to realise that the movie was complete shit until about half way through it. 

By that point, the effects were wearing off and both of their eyes were struggling to stay awake. Stan reached over to the side of the couch and pulled up a thick blue blanket that his mom liked to keep there, stretching it over both himself and Kyle after he noticed his best friend beginning to shake. 

“Sorry about the cold. My dad’s been meaning to fix the AC for a while but he hasn’t gotten around to it. I think it’s stuck at 64.” Stan elaborated, his own teeth beginning to chatter. Kyle nodded understandably. 

“It’s fine, dude. It’s not your fault.” He added as he pulled the blanket up to his chin for warmth. “Hey, are you nervous for high school to start?” Kyle wondered, trying to take his mind off the cold and the headache that was setting in. 

Stan gulped, his Adam’s apple running slowly down his throat. “Um…a bit, yeah.” He admitted, his eyes focused on the screen, despite having no idea what was going on.   
“Any particular reason?” Kyle questioned softly, observing his solemn look. Stan’s shook his head slowly. 

“I just… don’t really want everything to change I guess. Like, I know things have to. We’re getting older, so it’s not like it’s a surprise to anyone, but I’m finally happy with how things are now and… I wish I knew it was gonna stay that way.” Stan opened up, his body deflating on the couch. 

Kyle let out a sigh, expecting an answer like that from his nostalgic best friend. “Yeah, change can be scary, but it can be good too. Think about it, even throughout grade school and middle school, we all changed a lot. Imagine if we kept acting like we did in grade four now? We’d all be fucking immature nightmares.” Kyle said with a laugh, Stan smiling in response. 

“You’ve got a point.” Stan chuckled, peeling his eyes away from the screen and locking them on Kyle. “Kyle, can you promise me something?” 

Kyle tilted his head to the side and let out a laugh, “I guess it depends on what it is.” He told him honestly. Stan let out a smirk, expecting nothing less from Kyle. 

“It’s nothing crazy; all I’m asking is that you don’t like… completely forget about me.” Stan let out, a little more emotionally than usual from the liquor. Kyle was struck by the severity of his words nonetheless. 

“Where did that come from? Stan, why would you even think that could happen?” Kyle pried. Stan shrugged his strong shoulders. 

“Dude, I don’t know what’ll happen, and neither do you. What if I make a bunch of new friends from football, you make some from basketball and we just… drift apart?” He suggested, his blue eyes looking even heavier. 

Kyle placed his hand on Stan’s knee under the blankets and squeezed it tightly, “Listen, I can’t say that we’ll have the same classes, same friends group, or anything like that, but you know what we’ll always have?” Kyle asked. 

“Memories?” Stan inquired, his voice quiet. 

Kyle tilted his head slightly to the side, “Yeah… that’s kind of what I meant; we’ll have those for sure, more memories than anyone’s ever had with anyone else, but I was thinking of something else.” 

“What?” Stan wondered, his face relaxing. 

Kyle laughed to himself, “Ok, this is going to sound kinda weird. Promise not to laugh?” Kyle asked, picking his eyes up to look at Stan’s. 

“Of course, dude.” Stan pledged. 

“Ok, well, I always thought that for whatever reason, we always had a… bond. The group of four of us. It seems like no matter what we do or where we go, we always come back to each other, no matter how much we fucked up. That’s the way it’s always been.” Kyle finished before laughing to himself, “Ok, now here comes the really strange.” 

Stan nodded, his head, awaiting what Kyle had to say. 

“So, I know that we’re all going to stay friends, all four of us; I just know it, so you don’t need to worry about that. But with me and you? There’s always been something…else.” Kyle went on, trying to prevent himself from turning any redder. “We can get into fights, have people come between us, be pinned against each other in an argument- even hold a fucking gun to each other’s heads, but somehow, we always made it through. We’ll always make it through.” Kyle assured him, releasing his tightened grip on Stan’s knee. But before Kyle could take his hand away, Stan brought his down and placed it on top, holding the red head’s hand in place. 

“Dude, I know exactly what you mean. It’s a feeling I’ve never gotten with anyone else, not even Wendy, and we’ve been together for years. I kind of feel bad saying it, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to be as comfortable around Wendy as I am with you. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to communicate with her like we do.” 

Kyle brought his eyes up to Stan as they exchanged glances, something they’ve done since before they can remember. A smile crossed both of their faces, Kyle knowing exactly what Stan meant. 

“You mean like that?” The red head questioned. Stan nodded wordlessly, wearing a closed-mouth smile. 

“Yup.” Stan concluded, feeling like a load was lifted off his shoulders. “Thanks, Kyle. I really needed to hear you say that.” 

Kyle nodded, “No problem, dude.” He yawned, looking at the time. 

“So, how’d your first drinking experience go?” Stan questioned, catching Kyle’s contagious yawn. Kyle raised an eyebrow at him. 

“It wasn’t at all what I expected. I thought you were going to make me try to do something crazy, but all we did was watch a shitty movie and talk.” Kyle stated, “Was that what you planned on doing?” 

Stan chuckled, “Yeah, pretty much. I knew you wouldn’t want to embarrass yourself by going outside, so I figured we’d just stay in and do what we normally do.” 

Kyle couldn’t help but shake his head. “So if you had a normal night planned all along, why did you need me to get drunk for it?” 

Stan lifted up his index finger, “Firstly, neither of us got drunk. I’d say tipsy if anything, which I thought was pretty surprising for it being your first time and the amount of shots we took. And second, I already told you why. I just wanted your first time to be with me, even if we didn’t do anything worth remembering.” 

Kyle couldn’t help but laugh, “Dude, you know just because we didn’t fucking try to get into a club or something doesn’t mean that I won’t remember it: of course I will.” Kyle told him, tightening his grip on the blanket. “I’ll remember it because it was with you.” 

Kyle watched as Stan’s eyes melted; the same look he’d give whenever he’d see a puppy on the street. “Dude… That’s like, one of the nicest things anyone’s said to me.” Stan declared, “I don’t know how you do that.” 

“Do what?” Kyle prodded. 

“Make me feel so important.” Stan replied with a softness to his voice that Kyle had never heard before. Both of them exchanged a look that made both of their eyes soften: a non-verbal way of telling each other that they appreciated their presence, something that was distinctly theirs. 

“Damn, it’s 2AM already?” Stan said abruptly, glancing over at the light on the TV as he broke their gaze. “I guess I’ll go up to my room to give you more space here.” Stan said in a whisper, probably out of habit. As the raven haired boy went to get up from the couch, a wave of cold rushed over him and he collapsed back down. “Holy shit its freezing!” He exclaimed, huddling back up with the blanket. 

Kyle let out a laugh, “If you want, you can just stay down here tonight; there’s enough room for both of us.” 

Stan shot him a wicked smile, “Yeah, barely.” He reminded the red head, “I’ve been bulking for football season, so there’s probably less room than you think.” He insisted. 

Kyle rolled his eyes, “Oh shit you’re right; I’m surprised you can even still fit on this couch with all those muscles.” Kyle joked as he grabbed his bicep, which he had to admit was pretty impressive. Stan shook him away playfully and let out a defeated sigh. 

“Fine, we can try to fit.” He said with a smirk, laying down on the opposite side of the couch as Kyle. 

“Yeah, all three of us: you, me, and that huge-ass ego of yours.” Kyle deflected. Stan nudged him with his foot, Kyle swatting it away in response. 

“Jesus, ever think about changing your socks?” Kyle questioned, shoving Stan’s feet behind his back, lying himself down on the couch. Stan wiggled himself into a comfortable position, also away from the red head’s feet. 

“Dude, you’re not one to talk either.” He shot back, tiredly. “You sure you don’t mind being squished though?” Stan whispered again, influenced by the dark night-time setting.   
“No, I’m good. And you?” Kyle said quietly back. 

“I don’t mind either. It’s you.” He stated, not needing to add more. 

“Goodnight, Stan.” 

“Night Kyle.” 

 

~~~~

It was 9PM on a Tuesday. A light rain was falling outside, making the mid-March day much more miserable than normal. Kyle sat in his room and looked over his notes, highlighting whatever he thought was important and typing them out on a word document to ensure neatness: it may have seemed unnecessary for a high school softmore to put so much care into French and civics notes, but Kyle wanted to get into a good college, and if this was going to help him get there, he’d do it. 

“Kyle!” His mother screamed abruptly, causing the red head to jolt in his chair. 

“What ma?” He called back, not in the mood to get distracted. 

“Your friend Stanley is here!” She screeched back. Kyle racked his brain for a second, trying to remember if he invited him over. No, I don’t remember saying anything about hanging out tonight, Kyle thought. He had to act quickly. His hair was a mess, so he threw on his trusty ushanka. He clambered over to the closet and took a quick peek: anything would be better than the ratty t-shirt and boxer shorts he was wearing right now. As he was shuffling through the clothes, it hit him. Why am I putting on an outfit for Stan? Stan? He’s literally seen me in everything, and…nothing. Why does it matter? He asked himself, scratching his hair underneath his hat. 

But it was too late. The door swung open and a dreary-looking boy appeared, a contemplative look etched on his face. 

 

“Dude, is everything…ok?” Kyle asked, spinning around and pretending to finish organising his closet, disappointed that he wasn’t able to change into anything in time. Stan dropped down onto Kyle’s bed without a word. He paused for a few moments, taking his hat off and running his hands through his messy hair. 

“Um…I’m not really sure.” He stated honestly, his voice as tired sounding as he looked. Kyle shut the closet door and waltzed over to him, leaning his hip against the wall near his nightstand. 

“Does it have something to do with Wendy?” He suggested. Stan nodded. 

“I’ve been pacing around for hours.” He admitted, which explained why he looked so soaked. “We’re officially over.” He told boldly. 

Kyle cocked his head to the side. “No offense, Stan but… you’ve said that before and then gotten back together with her. How’s this time any different?” 

Stan swallowed, taking his time to come up with an answer. “Yeah, I know we’ve always been on-and-off, but I just know that this time isn’t the same as the rest. There wasn’t a big blowout; no fight, no one cheated, said or even… did anything wrong.” 

“So then what makes you so sure you guys are through? How do you know there isn’t even a chance of you guys getting back together?” Kyle wondered, casting a shadow over the inky haired boy as he sat on his bed, a puddle forming on Kyle’s sheets from his wet clothes. 

Stan looked down at his clasped red gloved hands that and let his breath out slowly. “I know ‘cause I could feel it coming for a while. It’s a fallout. We’ve never had that before.” He began. “Before, there was always some reason. One of us would fuck up, we’d end it, then we’d get back together because there was still this… bond, this pull that brought us back together. But whatever kept bringing us back is just… gone.” He exhaled. 

“It wasn’t like it was a surprise or anything.” He kept on explaining, Kyle taking a seat beside him as he realised he was in for a long story. “Maybe it had to do with our history and how we were something comfortable to each other, something safe. But now that we’re over halfway done 10th grade, maybe we both just realised that we don’t need that safety net anymore. We’re both happy doing our own thing.” Stan kept going, Kyle nodding at his analysis of their problems. “It’s probably a good thing, even. Now we can see what we’re like on our own, and maybe… I don’t know, take some risks.” Stan added. 

Kyle couldn’t help but let out a smile. “I can’t see you starting to take any huge risks now just because you’re single.” Kyle butted in, causing a broad smile to cross Stan’s face.   
“Good point.” He noted. “But you know what I mean.” 

Kyle nodded, “Yeah, I see where you’re coming from.” He assured. “Honestly, that’s probably one of the best ways to break up with someone, and since there wasn’t a fight, maybe you guys can even try to be friends in a few years, who knows?” Kyle suggested, Stan nodding in response. “You sure you’re gonna be ok with this change?” 

Stan took his eyes away from his hands and looked up at Kyle, an uncertain smirk crossing his face. “Dude, I have no fucking clue.” 

Kyle let out a hard laugh in response, figuring that that would be Stan’s honest answer. 

“Dude, that’s fine; it’s ok to be scared. It wasn’t what you were expecting to happen, so it’s natural to be nervous about how to move on with life now, you know, without her. But I think it’ll be good for you, for you and Wendy.” Kyle elaborated, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I mean, I still have you.” He added quietly, glancing back down at his hands. Kyle felt his mouth dry up for a second, not able to think of a rebuttal. 

“And Cartman and Kenny too.” Stan tacked on as he brought his eyes back up to Kyle. 

“Yeah, for sure. We’ve always got each other.” Kyle stated, referring not only to the whole group, but also leaving the possibility open for his statement to mean just the two of them. It was at that point that Stan and Kyle shared one of their looks, both of them observing each other with a comforting and familiar light, creating a calming sensation between them that they couldn’t get with anyone else. It’s as though no matter what happened to either of them, they were a constant to each other, no matter how much shit they put each other through. 

 

“Bubby, did you finish your homework yet?” His mom called from the kitchen. Kyle shook himself out of their momentary escape from reality and fixed his thoughts on the world again. 

“Ah fuck,” He said under his breath, looking at his desk where his open binder was sprawled out, cap still off the highlighter. Stan caught on, realising that he interrupted one of Kyle’s intense study sessions. 

“Oh shit dude; I forgot that you actually take homework seriously. I kind of just came over without any warning, didn’t I?” He asked rhetorically. “I’ll let you finish.” He offered, standing up. 

“Don’t worry about it. I still have time.” He assured him, not wanting Stan to feel like he wasted his night. The black haired boy slung his jacket over his shoulders and headed for the door, Kyle following him out. 

They both walked together out to the porch, Stan zipping up his soaking sweater, causing him to shiver. 

“Good thing I live next door.” Stan stated with a smile, a warm, comforted smile that he rarely made. 

“Yeah, good thing.” Kyle agreed. 

As Stan was about to turn around and leave, he shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down onto the ground, taking a pause before speaking again. “Um, Kyle?” 

“Yeah?” Kyle inquired. 

“I, uh, I just wanted to say thanks.” He let out. “You didn’t have to sit there and listen to my shit, but you did, and you really helped me sort stuff out.” 

Kyle let out a laugh, “I didn’t really do much. You figured out everything yourself before you came.” 

Stan let out a sideways smirk, “Ha, I guess so, but it felt like you helped anyways, just by being there.” 

Kyle chuckled, shoving his hands into his own pockets. “I’m glad.” He replied softly. 

Before he took off, Stan took his hands out of his pockets and wrapped one of his arms around his lifelong best friend for a quick second, showing his appreciation in the only other way he could think to. 

“Night Kyle.” He said as he pulled away, the words close to Kyle’s ear. 

“Night, dude.” Kyle replied, trying to shake off the shiver he got from the feeling of the warm words hit his ear unexpectedly.

Kyle watched as Stan went back to his house. He caught Stan looking back at him right before he entered and flashed him a bright smile before they left each other’s sights for the night. Kyle smiled back, wondering how long Stan had had such a nice smile. 

 

~~

“Holy fuck Stan; how far is this spot?” Cartman asked loudly from the backseat of Randy’s SUV. Stan shook his head, feeling as though he was driving around an impatient toddler, judging by the amount of times Cartman had already asked that question. 

“Dude, I told you; it’s far. But my dad says it’s one of the best cat fishing spots in Colorado or some shit.” Stan explained, watching Cartman’s expression go from bad to worse. 

“Oh god; we’re taking advice from Randy?” He called out. “I’m sure this is gonna turn out great.” He added sarcastically. Kenny snickered beside him as he unbuckled his seatbelt yet again, causing the brunette to lose it for the tenth time that car ride. 

“Cut that shit out, Kenny! It’s not funny anymore!” He hollered, shoving the blond to the side. Kenny couldn’t help but continue to laugh. 

“It’s still funny to me.” He admitted with a grin. Cartman rolled his light brown eyes as he rebuckled himself with a scowl on his face, keeping a hand hovered overtop the buckle so his shaggy blond friend wouldn’t have such easy access the next time.

“Dude, if you didn’t react when he did it he wouldn’t keep doing it to you. He just wants to hear you get annoyed.” Kyle reasoned from the shot gun seat next to Stan, turning his body around so Cartman could hear over Stan’s music. 

“Wow, thanks Kyle; I couldn’t have figured that out on my own.” Cartman declared sarcastically. 

“It’s ‘cause you’re not used to having brothers and sisters. We did this all the time to each other in the car growing up.” Kenny reasoned, keeping his distance from Eric. 

“You had a car?” Eric asked with a smirk. 

“Fuck you.” Kenny stated, using his small but strong arms to shove Eric against the side of the car, causing the whole SUV to shake. 

“Jesus Christ; what’s going on back there?” Stan called out in a loud voice. 

Cartman gripped the back of Stan’s chair and pulled himself forward, placing his mouth directly behind his ear. “You’d know if you turned down your fucking hippie music! This shit’s gonna make us all go deaf.” Cartman yelled, Stan having to pull his head away and block his ear with his hand. The black haired boy reached for the volume and turned it down immediately, Cartman’s words still ringing in his ears. 

Stan turned his head to Kyle for a moment and waited for him to give his opinion on the matter. 

“It was pretty loud, dude.” Kyle admitted with a smile once the music was considerably lower. Stan returned his eyes to the road, shaking his head. 

“I honestly didn’t even notice. I kinda just get lost listening to it and I forget that there are other people in the car.” He admitted, his jet black hair blowing softly around as a late summer’s breeze wafted through the slightly open window. 

“Haha, I figured. You always get like that.” Kyle reminded him. Stan raised an eyebrow at his best friend and glanced at him for a moment. 

“What do you mean?” He wondered. 

Kyle shrugged his shoulders. “You know, like whenever I’m over and we’re trying to do homework or something, you’ll put on your music, and it’ll start off quiet, but then you’ll start singing along to it, and eventually you’ll just stop doing your work altogether.” Kyle explained, a warm smile crossing his face. “And then sometimes you’ll even get your guitar out and start playing, and that’s usually when I have to step in and say something like ‘Stan, dude, we have a chemistry test tomorrow, remember?’ And then you’ll be like ‘Oh fuck, right. Ok, I’ll get back to that after the chorus.’” Kyle went on, causing Stan to smile from ear to ear. 

“You guys are so fucking gay.” Cartman stated bluntly. Kyle shook his head, having learned not to even bother replying to that comment after years of hearing it, and Stan did the same, only adding in the action of running his hand through his exposed hair. 

Funny, Kyle thought, he usually only does that when he’s nervous about something… 

 

“Wow Stan, this was a really great place your dad suggested. I’ll have enough to feed my family for weeks.” Cartman stated drearily, looking into his empty tin bucket. Stan let out a sigh as he reeled in, nothing on the end of his rod either. 

“Come on dude, it wasn’t Stan’s fault the fish weren’t biting today.” Kyle defended from his spot a little farther down the river bank. Cartman raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms across his large chest. 

“Ok, but who’s fault was it that we listened to Randy in the first place?” Eric called back. 

“Stop giving my dad shit for everything. I know he’s fucked up a lot, like, a fuck ton of times, but sometimes he pulls through.” The black haired boy said as he picked up his bucket and began to make his way back to the car, everyone following suit. 

“Oh yeah? Name one.” Cartman coaxed. Stan put the bucket down for a second as he wracked his brain, trying to wade through all the shitty things he did to think of a good one.

“Ok, how about the time he got us out of playing in the championships for baseball that one summer?” Stan suggested. Cartman rolled his eyes in response. 

“God, you had to look back six years just to think of one? I think that proves my point.” He finalised, no one really contesting the argument, not even Stan. 

“It’s fine, Cartman. I still had fun.” Kenny piped up, a grin crossing his face. 

“Psssh, of course you did; you fucking took off my bait while I went to take a piss and then handed me the rod when I came back and didn’t say shit. I was fishing with nothing on the other end for like...a whole goddam hour!” Eric reminded them all, everyone’s faces filling with smiles. 

“That was slick as fuck, dude.” Stan complimented Kenny as they exchanged a high five, Cartman rolling his eyes dramatically. 

The boys watched the sun go down as they packed up, observing the beautiful nature around them. Sure, the place Randy suggested wasn’t overflowing with fish, but the area itself was gorgeous. Mountains surrounded them from all sides, thick pine trees running up and down them. The stream where they were fishing from was one of the clearest they’d ever seen, and best of all, there wasn’t a house or even a sign of life for miles. 

“Damn guys; I don’t really wanna leave yet.” Kenny told them as he leaned his back against the SUV, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. They all gazed up at the oranges and pinks that filled the sky, their hearts growing nostalgic as they recalled similar sunsets that they’d seen at Stark’s Pond, especially Stan and Kyle. 

For some reason, even after years and years, that place never seemed to lose it’s magic. If one of them was in a bad mood or upset about something and wasn’t answering texts or calls, they could bet that they were at Stark’s pond, just reflecting. That was Stan and Kyle’s go-to place to talk shit out, away from loud Jewish mothers and arguing parents. It was probably a mixture of the sound of lapping water as it hit the rocks, the smell of fresh evergreens, the watercolour sunset sky, and…the fact that no one else was around. Just Stan and Kyle. 

“Can I be honest with you guys? I’m tired as fuck and it’s a really long drive back.” Stan admitted with a yawn, his eyelids already drooping. 

“So…what are you saying, Marsh?” Cartman questioned. Stan shrugged. 

“I’m saying that I wish you guys were a year older and had your licenses too.” Stan said with a tired smile, reaching for the handle of his car as he accepted his fate. Kenny flicked the butt of his cigarette on the ground before he reached over and placed his hand on top of Stan’s, stopping him from proceeding. 

“Dude, what are you doing?” Stan questioned, surprised by Kenny’s abruptness. 

“I’m stopping you from having to drive another four or five hours and risk getting us all killed when you fall asleep at the wheel.” Kenny stated bluntly. “Guys, it’s summer; where’s the goddam fire? We all know we don’t have anything better to do tomorrow, so why leave tonight?” The blond reasoned. 

Kyle crossed his arms across his chest and leaned his hip against the car, looking at Kenny with a disapproving glare. “Dude, I told my mom I’d be home tonight. She’ll think I got eaten by a fucking wolf if I don’t come home.” 

Kenny gave Kyle a dismissive wave of his hand, “Dude, Kyle, chill. Me and Stan can just drive around for a bit until we find some bars and then give them a call; Stan can call his house and your house, and I can call Liane. Problem solved.” He stated. 

Kyle raised an eyebrow as he thought up another problem, “Ok smartass, so where are we all gonna sleep? No one brought a tent.” 

Kenny already had an answer for that too. He tapped his fist against the black metal and stared right back at Kyle. “Right here.” 

“All of us in one car?” Kyle asked in disbelief. 

“Yup.” Kenny confirmed. 

Cartman threw his hands up in protest. “Dude, Kenny! That’s so fucking gay. Plus how the fuck do you think I’m gonna fit?” Cartman belted out, aware of his own rather large form. Despite the fact that Cartman had lost some of his baby weight, his weight turned mostly to muscle, meaning that he was still a big guy. Kenny came up and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. 

“Well, since I’m the smallest I’ll sleep in the back with you, and then Kyle and Stan can sleep in the front. Jesus, it’s not that hard guys.” Kenny concluded, looking around at all their faces for a response. Kyle glanced quickly over at Stan and noticed that he really did look tired. It was true; if he did drive, he’d be putting not only them, but everyone else on the road at risk too. It really was the only logical thing they could do. 

“It’s fine with me.” Kyle stated, watching as Stan’s eyes lit up in response, the black haired boy clearly also enjoying the possibility of not having to drive that night. 

Cartman let his shoulders deflate, realising that he was now outnumbered. “Goddammit, fine. But I swear to god if these two start making out in the car while we’re sleeping, I’m booking it the fuck outta there.” 

Stan and Kyle simply rolled their eyes and shook their heads. Kenny merely shrugged. 

“I dunno. I think it’d be pretty hot.” He offered. Cartman let out a dramatic sigh.

“Of course you would.” 

 

Once the boys packed away all the gear, emptying all the dead worms on to the grass so they wouldn’t smell up the car. In a way, they were now relieved they didn’t catch anything: the smell of the four of them after being outside in the hot sun was more than enough. 

“Stan, for being a pretty boy, I wouldn’t have guess that you had the shittiest smelling BO of all of us.” Cartman stated from the back, still sitting up straight after being unable to find a comfortable position to lie down. Kenny let out a scoff from his position in Cartman’s lap, his head resting on his thighs as he covered his nose in protest. 

“Dude, you’re not one to talk- trust me.” The blond reminded him. Cartman looked down at his lap at the blonde’s face and raised an eyebrow. 

“Well if you don’t like the smell, you don’t have to sleep on me.” He insisted as he moved his legs around, forcing Kenny off. Kyle and Stan looked at each other; the mere fact that Cartman allowed Kenny to lay on him at all was testament enough that something was probably going on between the two of them, yet neither Kyle or Stan was gonna call it out. Some things were better left unconfirmed. 

“I can’t help it! It’s hot as fuck in here and I’m trying to spread out.” Kenny complained as he raised himself up and wiped off the sweat from his forehead where his matted hair was sticking to. 

“Yeah dude; it’s like a goddam sauna.” Stan confirmed from the driver’s seat, pushing his own sweaty hair back. It was clear at that point that the car idea would have made much more sense if it wasn’t August on one of the hottest nights of the year, but it was way too late now to start driving home. Everyone in the car had accepted their fate, their sweaty, uncomfortable fate, well, everyone except Cartman. 

“Guys, we’re idiots!” Cartman bellowed. Kyle suddenly felt awake, the sound sending a jolt through his body. 

“Speak for yourself.” The red head called back as he raised his head from the seat. Cartman rolled his eyes at the red head before he continued, clearing his throat for emphasis. 

“No, no. Listen- there’s a whole fucking lake literally right beside us!” The brunette elaborated. 

“And?” Kyle prodded, “Dude, we can’t get our only clothes wet. That’d be a total nightmare on the drive home.” He reasoned. 

Eric looked at Kyle and raised one eyebrow, a mischievous grin crossing his face. “Who said anything about going in in our clothes?” 

At that point, the car went silent. It took a few seconds for anyone to come up with a reaction, but of all people, Kenny was the first. 

“Yeah, I’m in.” Kenny piped up with almost no hesitation. “But for someone who’s been calling these two gay all night, might be time to give yourself a check, dude.” Kenny said with a smirk. Kyle and Stan could swear that they saw the shade of Cartman’s face darken at Kenny’s statement, but maybe it was just a cloud passing over the moon and casting its shadow. Either way, they weren’t gonna ask. 

“Yeah, whatever man. It’s hot as fuck and I’m down to cool down any way I can. Are you guys in or not?” Cartman asked Stan and Kyle, his mind completely set. Kyle and Stan glanced at each other, both of them a lot more okay with the idea than they wanted to admit. Stan pushed his sweaty hair back one more time and let out a sigh, the decision pretty much making itself. 

“Yeah dude, I’ll go; I’ll do pretty much anything to get out of this heat.” He elaborated. “Kyle?” Stan inquired in a soft voice, not wanting to sound like he was putting too much pressure on the red head. 

Kyle swallowed hard, thinking of the consequences versus the gains. In this case, the gains really did outweigh…whatever might happen. Kyle gave an affirmative nod. “I guess it’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.” He admitted, taking his ushanka off and exposing his mess of a fro. Kenny offered his hand up for a high five. 

“Yeah, that’s the spirit!” 

The four of them climbed out and went behind separate bushes close to the shore, well, everyone except Kenny who just decided to strip nearly right when they got out of the car.   
“You guys are fucking slow at changing out of clothes.” The blond hollered, already right up at the water’s edge. 

“We’re not all whores like you; give us a break!” Eric called back, his commenting making all of them grin. “Are you guys all ready?” Cartman asked Stan and Kyle from behind his bush. Both of them raised their heads up and looked at one another before glancing back at Cartman. 

“So do we like…just come out?” Stan asked stupidly, not quite sure how to proceed. 

Cartman gave a quick laugh, “No, you hide behind the bush all night. Of course you come out, hippie. Just like… don’t look down.” Eric suggested, Stan and Kyle nodding at the suggestion. It’d been years since any of them saw each other fully naked, but if there was a group of people that they felt comfortable around enough to do so, it was with these guys. 

Without further delay, the three of them emerged from the bushes and made their way over to Kenny, feeling more exposed than ever, but at the same time, very liberated. Their eyes had managed to stay looking forward so far, but for some reason once they were all lined up at the shore, Stan and Kyle felt an urge to look down. Neither of them could explain it, but they just… wanted to. 

Stan shook the thought out of his mind as he brought his eyes over to Kenny. “Have you done this before?” He questioned. Kenny nodded.

“Yeah, a bunch of times. Mostly always with girls though. It’s kinda fun to do it with guys, especially when they’re all fucking shy for some reason.” Kenny teased, looking down the line of them. “None of you have a reason to be shy, just saying.” He added with a wink. 

“Aw, Kenny, sick!” Cartman hollered in response. “Ugh, whatever. I’m just going in. It’s too fucking hot just standing.” Cartman announced, Kenny nodding in agreeance. The two of them took off, wading into the water ever so slowly before Kenny shoved Cartman over, the larger boy cursing in response as he hit the freezing water. 

“Well, you ready?” Stan questioned, looking over at his best friend. Kyle bit his lip and nodded slowly. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He let out, unsure of why he was still feeling so nervous. Both of them took a step forward, their feet touching the frigid water, sending a shiver through their whole body. 

“Jesus Christ, that’s freezing!” Stan pointed out, Kyle agreeing with the chattering of his teeth. 

“Yeah; from one extreme to the next is a huge shock.” He admitted, wrapping his arms around his body. The two of them waded in slowly for quite some time until they both had the idea to push each other in at nearly the same time. Each of them turned and knocked the other down, their faces full of surprised smiles as they hit the water. When they came up, both of them were thoroughly soaked, but damn did it feel nice. 

Kyle dunked himself back under and came up, flipping his hair back like some shampoo commercial. He closed his eyes as he cleared the droplets off his face, his chest and torso exposed, and for some reason, Stan couldn’t take his eyes off of him. They were literally in the middle of one of the most beautiful places they’d ever been, surrounded by wilderness and mountains for miles, the only light coming from a full moon above them, but all the raven haired boy could look at was the red head standing in front of him as he watched the water cascade down his muscular yet slender form. 

Stan gulped and looked away from him once Kyle opened his eyes, not wanting to be caught staring. “Wow, it’s so gorgeous here.” He stated, his eyes scanning the area. Kyle nodded as his eyes fixed on the black haired boy, the moon casting a shadow that highlighted his abs and pectoral muscles in a way Kyle never imagined was possible. 

“Yeah; it’s fucking perfect.” He said almost unconsciously. 

 

Kenny and Cartman began to head back after some time, and Kyle and Stan followed suit closely behind them. The brunette and the blond exited the water and made a beeline for their clothes that were still behind the bushes, but when Kyle and Stan made their way to shore, they paused for a moment. Here it was: their last chance. The same question ran through both of their minds, but whether or not either of them would act on it was another story. 

With one swift, indiscreet glance, both of them cast their eyes down, but only for a second, acting as though nothing had happened. It was only until they were both alone behind the bushes that they fully realised what they just witnessed, and for one reason or another, it made putting their boxers back on a lot harder than it had to be. 

 

~~  
“Hey Kyle!” Stan called as he made his way down the hallway wearing his junior football sweater. “Did you get your ticket yet to the athletic banquet?” He asked in a cheerful voice as he leaned him arm against the locker beside him, giving him his full attention. 

Kyle flashed him smile as he closed the locker door. “Yeah, I did. I’m actually surprised I got invited this year since I’ve missed so many practices to study.” He admitted, giving his hat a tug over his red curls. 

Stan gave him a dismissive wave of his hand, “Nah, you had it in the bag. It just proves how good you are if anything.” He added, his smile still beaming. 

“You seem really excited about it. Did you get an award or something?” Kyle wondered. Stan cast his gaze down at the ground and smiled to himself,

“Yeah, I did actually. I wanted you to be the first to know. I got MVP.” He told him as humbly as he could. 

“Dude, that’s awesome! Congrats.” Kyle praised, giving him a light punch in the arm. Stan brought his eyes back up and grinned. 

“Thanks, dude. I know I’ve been talking about training and the gym a lot recently, and it probably got annoying, so I thought you had the right to know that it paid off.” He chuckled, pushing back his inky hair. Kyle shook his head. 

“Don’t worry about it; you weren’t being any more annoying than usual.” He jeered, elbowing him in the ribcage. Stan let out a laugh before returning his eyes to the tiled floor, looking as though he had something else to add. 

“So I was thinking…” He began, avoiding eye contact, “Would you wanna be my plus one at the head table? We get some free giveaways, like a drawstring bag, water bottle, shit like that, and I think we even get to talk to the head coaches from some colleges in Colorado afterwards once everyone else goes home.” He explained in a hopeful tone, returning his dark blue eyes to Kyle. 

Kyle gulped, his Adam’s apple running down his throat. “You didn’t want Wendy to be your plus one? I thought you guys were talking again.” Kyle suggested. 

Stan scratched his head, “Yeah, yeah we are but, I don’t know, I kind of wanted you there with me. All the guys were bringing their girlfriends and, you know, Wendy’s not my girlfriend anymore so that might be weird.” He went on. “You were the first person I thought of.” 

Kyle couldn’t do anything else but stand in the middle of the hallway in a state of confusion. “Stan, if I’m there with you, don’t you think they’ll like…assume something?” 

There was a heavy pause between them. Both of them ignored the bell. Stan picked his eyes up and rested them gently against Kyle’s, his mouth having a hard time keeping up with what his brain was thinking. 

“Well… I don’t know. Does it matter?” 

Kyle’s tongue faltered as well, not knowing how to express what he was thinking because in actuality, he didn’t even understand what was going on himself. “I, I just thought that they’d be expecting you to take Wendy, wouldn’t they?” Kyle questioned. “Plus, I’ll already be sitting with my own team; I’m sure they expect me to be there with them.”

Stan nodded, understanding both of the red head’s points. “Yeah. I guess that’s exactly what they’d be expecting.” He stated blandly. “Ok. I guess I’ll ask Wendy tonight. I’m sure she’ll say yes. I hope you have fun sitting with the basketball team. Say hi to Kevin for me.” Stan deadpanned, turning around and beginning to make his way to class. 

“Stan?” Kyle called out, noting the hurt sound in his voice. 

“The bell already rang. We have to get to class, Kyle. Talk to you later.” He called back, not bothering to turn around. 

“O-ok. See ya.” 

~~  
“Hey Stan. I know this is sort of unexpected, but do you wanna come over for Seder dinner? I invited Kenny and Cartman too. My mom’s going have some family friends over,” Kyle said into the phone, pausing to laugh to himself, “Hopefully it won’t be as awkward as other years. But yeah, what do you think?” The red head questioned as he laid on his back on his bed, already dressed in a fancy button-up shirt and black slacks. 

“Yeah, sure dude. I don’t have anything going on tonight.” The dark haired boy answered. “Anything I should bring?” He questioned, not exactly remembering how the whole Seder process worked. 

“Not that I can think of. Just dress nice, but that’s it.” Kyle explained, relieved that he’d have someone else there to talk to other than his mom’s friend’s kids. “I’m glad my mom opened the invitation back up. It’s been pretty lame the past few years.” Kyle elaborated, staring up at his ceiling. 

Stan put Kyle on speaker as he went into his closet, searching for something nice to wear. Something particularly nice. 

“Yeah, why’d she stop letting all of us come? Did we do something wrong at the last one?” Stan questioned, rummaging through his church clothes that he barely ever wore. Kyle laughed to himself,

“No, no, it wasn’t anything like that. She just…wanted me to be less distracted.” Kyle attempted to explain. 

“Meaning…?” Stan inquired.

“Meaning she wanted me to pay attention to her friend’s daughters in particular. It’s total bullshit: I don’t need my mom to be my matchmaker. This isn’t fucking Fiddler on the Roof.” Kyle went on, Stan only half paying attention as he narrowed his shirts down to two options. 

“Damn, yeah that’s pretty stupid. I don’t know why she’d even ever think you’d need help finding anyone.” Stan told him honestly. Kyle chuckled, running his hands through his hair under his hat. 

“I mean, I don’t exactly have the best track record. A couple girlfriends in middle school isn’t overly impressive.” The red head admitted to aloud.

“Trust me Kyle; you could get anyone you wanted.” Stan assured him, slipping into dark grey dress pants he managed to dig up. 

“Dude, it’s fine; I don’t need you to pity me.” Kyle said with a laugh. 

“I’m not pitying you; I’m being serious. You’re smart, a great basketball player, good at listening and giving advice, you’re not afraid to stand up for what you believe, and you don’t take bullshit from anyone.” Stan offered up. “I can think of more.” He told Kyle lightheartedly. 

Kyle couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth wash over him. Does Stan really think all those things about me? He wondered. 

“Damn Stan; if I’m so great, why don’t you date me then?” He joked. Stan laughed in response. There was a brief pause before Stan responded, having to release his teeth from his lip that he was biting down on so hard.

“So, what colour do you like better: dark blue or burgundy?” He quipped. The question caught Kyle by surprise. 

“Oh, umm…burgundy I guess.” He replied. 

“Cool. See you in a few.” Stan concluded. 

“Yeah, see you soon.” 

 

The doorbell rang for what seemed like the thirtieth time that night. Having just let Kenny and Cartman in, Kyle realised that there was only one of his guests left to come.   
“Bubby! We’re about to start the Seder!” His mom called from the dining room. Kyle let out a sigh, realising that now there was no escape from the awkwardness that awaited him in the other room. Kyle glanced over beside him to see what his mom was probably so afraid of. 

“Goddammit Kenny! Put that down!” Kyle called out in his loudest whisper, taking the bottle of Manschewitz from the blonde’s hands, a quarter of the bottle already gone. “Trust me, there’ll be more than enough for you to drink during the Seder.” 

“See, I told you I could down that much before he noticed. He was so fucking distracted.” Kenny said under his breath to Cartman as they made their way into the immaculate dining room. Kyle shook his head, hoping he could clear it out a little bit before more important things started happening right under his nose that he was unaware of. 

“Kyle, your friends can sit down at that end. You sit here next to Ike, right across from Ester.” Sheila ordered, showing him to his seat. Kyle raised an eyebrow, noticing that he would be surrounded on both ends: one by Ike, and the other by Ester’s father, David. 

“Where’s Stan going to sit?” The red head asked aloud. Sheila crossed her arms across her chest and let out a sigh. 

“Stan’s going to sit over there next to your other friends, see?” She added, pointing to an empty spot at the far end of the table. “Don’t worry sweetie; he doesn’t need you to explain everything. He can follow along in his own Haggadah.” She explained in a voice that sounded like it wouldn’t be changed no matter what. Kyle accepted defeat and took his seat, faking a smile to David and his wife, Miriam. 

Everyone engaged in small talk for a few minutes, waiting for their final guest to arrive, Sheila growing more impatient by the minute. 

“Kyle, I’m afraid if Stan doesn’t come soon---” Sheila started as she was interrupted by the doorbell. Kyle began to rise from his chair, but Sheila quelled him quickly. “No, no. You just sit there and talk to our guests. I’ll get it.” She said firmly, Kyle watching as smirks spread across Kenny and Cartman’s faces. The two of them started to whisper, and all Kyle could do was roll his eyes, having a pretty good idea as to what they were talking about. 

“Sorry I’m late everybody.” Stan announced as he entered, everyone in the room simply nodding as he was directed to his seat. Kyle’s gaze followed him as he sat down. He shot him an apologetic look, but Stan nearly shook his head, indicating that everything was fine. It was obvious why he was late, or at least it was to Kyle. His hair looked like some actual effort was put into it, styled, flipped and everything. His clothes looked clean and pressed, probably due to the help of his mom’s iron. Kyle also couldn’t help but notice the smell of cheap cologne that he emitted as he walked by; normally something he’d find tacky, but on Stan, it seemed just fine. Before Kyle turned his attention back to the head of the table where his father was about to conduct the Seder, he caught a glimpse of the vibrancy of his blue eyes, the burgundy really bringing them out. Kyle wondered if Stan knew that was the reason he made that colour choice. 

The Seder went off as most Seders do: long and tediously, but at the same time memorable. There was something special about these traditions to Kyle. Even though they happened every year in the same way, there was always something that made them unique. It was a blend of nostalgia and making anew: a rare mix that provided him with some of the best memories and feelings in the world. Kyle could really only think of a few other examples of this in his life, and the examples he could think of, he cherished beyond belief. 

Kyle glimpsed over at Stan on the other end as he topped his matzoh with purple horseradish, his face contorting as he took a bite, Kyle unable to hold back a broad smile that crossed his face in reaction to the expression. On the other side, Kyle could clearly see that Kenny and Cartman took full advantage of the four ‘sips’ of wine that they were allowed, both of them trying their hardest to control their laughter and hide their tipsiness, but their reddened cheeks and dilated pupils made that task nearly impossible. Kyle’s attention was directed away from his friends as he felt a tap on his hand from across the table, a tap from his mother. 

“Kyle, Ester was telling me about all of the law classes she’s taking this semester. She says that she wants to study at Yale to become a lawyer; isn’t that wonderful?” The red headed mother praised, her eyes locked on the girl sitting across from her son. 

“Yeah, that’s awesome.” He replied, trying to sound at least mildly interested to appease his mother. Kyle could have cared less: not only was this girl someone he had nearly nothing in common with, but she wasn’t the best looking either, if he was going to be perfectly honest. She had a small, upturned nose and curly dark brown, almost black hair that was always unruly. Her face was narrow and her cheek bones were sunken in, which only made her hair seem to overpower her face even more. She also lacked any discernable personality, but she was Jewish and smart, so naturally his mom thought she would be perfect for him. 

“Kyle, did you hear that Lisa and Dan are getting married?” Ester began, trying to make conversation. Kyle shook his head,

“Uh, no, I didn’t hear that. Who are they again?” He questioned, genuinely unaware of the identity of the couple. Ester let out a chuckle, a snorting sound escaping at the end. 

“You know who they are! The ones we used to play tag with in the synagogue after Hebrew school.” She explained, hoping to have clarified for Kyle. Kyle continued to give her an uncertain stare as he shrugged his shoulders. 

“Dude, it’s been a while since I’ve been to shul. I honestly don’t remember them.” He admitted, Kyle’s mom flashing him an angry glare, most likely for referring to Ester as ‘dude’- something his mom would probably blame on Stan later. 

“Oh, that’s fine.” She went on, giving him a dismissive wave of her hand. “But Kyle, I was kinda wondering something…” She continued, twirling one of her curls in her fingers. “Lisa invited me and… it might be nice to have you there too, you know, for old times’ sake.” 

Kyle gulped. He could see where this was going. 

“You want me to come as…?” 

“As my date?” Ester questioned nervously. 

“Of course! Kyle would love to, wouldn’t you bubby?” His mom called out proudly. Kyle let out a nervous grin. Clearly this girl had the hots for him, just like many other girls at school did. From being one of the bottom on the list, Kyle had nearly made his way to the top as he matured. Kyle had turned down numerous offers for dates an hookups before, but this one was different. Here they were, in front of family and friends, his mom basically volunteering him up for the whole table to hear. 

“Uh…yeah, sure.” He answered, not having much of a choice in the matter. Ester’s dark brown eyes lit up, as did her father’s and mother’s. What a joyous occasion it was. 

Kyle’s eyes went down the table to Stan, wondering if he caught wind of what was going on. He had a feeling he did. Kyle watched as Stan prodded at the foul smelling gefilte fish, pushing off to the side of his plate along with the boiled egg and charoset. It seemed the agreement caused him to lose his appetite. 

 

The Seder was long over. Everyone made their way into the living room to talk, everyone except the four boys who stayed huddled in the kitchen. 

“So Kyle, you got a date for some Jew wedding?” Cartman teased, elbowing him in the side. Kyle rolled his eyes. 

“It’s not a date; she just wanted someone to go with from the same synagogue. That’s it.” Kyle explained. 

Kenny let out a dramatic scoff as he sloppily leaned against the kitchen counter, the wine still having an effect on him. “Uh huh, sure.” He jeered, flashing him a wink and making a kissy face. 

Kyle noticed Stan near the fridge, twirling a glass of the wine in a nearly full cup, a contemplative looked etched on his face. 

“You don’t like the wine?” Kyle asked as he leaned next to the fridge beside him. Stan made a closed mouth smile at his observation, bringing his eyes back up to eyelevel with Kyle’s. 

“Nah; it’s a little too sweet for me.” He admitted. Kyle nodded,

“Fair enough.” He stated, “Hey, I’m sorry that I couldn’t sit with you guys during the whole thing. I know it’s long and can get kinda boring near the end.” Kyle apologised. 

Stan shook his head, “No dude, it was cool. I really like being part of your family’s traditions.” He told his best friend, Kyle’s bright eyes lighting up. “Plus, I don’t really think you chose to sit there anyways.” 

Kyle let out a laugh, “Yeah, no, not exactly my first choice.” 

“Figured.” Stan said with a grin, his eyes returning to his glass. “But uh, there kinda was one thing that I’ve been thinking about for a while that I’ve wanted to tell you.” 

Kyle felt his body tense up. “Yeah?” He managed to breathe out. 

“I, uh---”

“Bubby! You can’t just hide out in here all night long!” Sheila interrupted. “This is just like last year when all you did was talk to Kenny and Eric all night. You really need to start meeting some girls for a change.” 

Once Sheila left the room, everyone fell silent. 

“Did she just say ‘like last year when you talked to Kenny and Eric all night’?” Stan spit out after having a moment to digest what was just said. 

“Ok Stan, here’s the thing…”

“Wait so, they’ve been coming to these things all these years? So it was only me your mom didn’t want coming over anymore, but she’s still been letting them?” Stan tried to gather, looking around at all of their guilty faces. “When I asked you if I did anything wrong, you told me no. Clearly I did.” Stan declared, setting his glass down hard on the counter and heading out of the kitchen. 

“No, Stan!” Kyle yelped, grabbing his arm to pull him back. “I swear to god, you didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t lying when I said that.” 

Stan shook Kyle’s arm off, “Ok, so what was it then? She just doesn’t fucking like me?” 

Kyle scanned the area from side to side and quickly decided that the foyer was a better place to talk. He latched onto Stan’s arm and tugged him away from earsight any potential witnesses, biting his lip all the while. 

“No, it’s not that either.” The red head said in a whisper. Stan narrowed his eyes at Kyle’s elusiveness, not wanting him to avoid the question any longer. 

“Dude, stop beating around the bush. Just tell me why.” Stan responded back in an agitated whisper voice. 

Kyle let out a sigh, already dreading the response he was going to get, but realising that there was no getting out of it now. “She thinks that you specifically are a distraction to me, that it’s you that would prevent me from talking to her friend’s daughters.” Kyle admitted. 

Stan cocked an eyebrow his way. “What? Why just me? I was at least put together tonight and didn’t try to get wasted off of kosher wine.” He defended. Kyle shook his head.

“No, not because she thinks you’re going to stir shit up or act immature.” Kyle clarified. 

“Then fucking what, Kyle?” Stan asked in a louder voice than he anticipated, his eyes wide. 

“She…” Kyle began, his tongue not wanting to cooperate. “She thinks I like you.” 

Stan shook his head for a second, wondering if he heard right. “She what?” 

Kyle rolled his eyes, not wanting to repeat it. “She thinks I like you. She thinks you’ll make me not want to meet girls. That’s why.” 

“Oh.” Stan replied, the look on his face unreadable, even to Kyle. “Huh, that’s an…interesting way to look at things.” 

Kyle let out a laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “Ha, yeah. She’s got some pretty crazy ideas.” 

Stan made the same laugh and ran his hand through his hair, “Yeah, for sure.” 

 

~~

Another year had passed. It was now their senior year of high school, and all anyone seemed to be talking about was the event almost as important as graduation itself: prom.   
It was a warm May afternoon, close to Kyle’s birthday. Stan’s football practice had just ended. All the guys walked off the field into the stands to get their bags to get the fuck home, their legs sore from extra training before the end of the season. As Stan approached the bleachers, he could easily point Kyle out, his bright red hair standing out from across the field. 

“So you decided to shed your hat for the spring?” Stan asked out of breath after having just walked to nearly the top stand. 

“If you wanna call it that, sure. It just got too hot.” He explained. Kyle watched as the black haired boy collapsed into the seat beside him, Kyle taking it as a cue. He went into Stan’s bag and pulled out his water bottle, squirting him in the face with a bit of it before handing it to him. Stan couldn’t help but smile, the squirt in the face being exactly what he needed. 

“You guys are lucky you get to play in a place with AC.” The raven haired boy complained as he stripped off his t-shirt that was thoroughly soaked with sweat, exposing his torso to the sun. Kyle noticed that he started to grow some chest chair, not that he minded though, because he too knew that if he shared genes with his dad in any way, he’ be sprouting hair there any day. 

Kyle shook his head, “Actually, funny you mention that; the AC in the gym broke today. I think we played in conditions even worse than you guys. The only difference is I had time to shower before I came up here.” Kyle pointed out, showing Stan that parts of his hair were still wet. 

“Oh; I guess that explains why you smell fresh and I smell, uh…” Stan admitted as he took a whiff of himself, his nose crinkling up in response. Kyle let out a laugh, finding it funny how self-conscious he still was about his body odour after so many years. 

“Dude, you’re fine. You always smell good again after you shower.” Kyle assured, “Plus, I never really thought your sweat smelled that bad anyways: that was more Cartman.”   
Stan nodded and simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief. “Huh, well that’s something I can keep in mind I guess: Kyle thinks my sweat smells good.” He joked, looking up at his friend on the higher stand. Kyle rolled his vibrant green eyes that matched the grass of the football field. 

“Hey, I said not that bad, not good. Don’t push it.” He teased, Stan grinning in response.

“Good enough for me.” He settled with, bringing his arms behind his head as he tried to get comfortable on the stands. “Oh, speaking of Cartman by the way, did you hear that he’s going to prom with Kenny?” 

Kyle raised an interested eyebrow. “Really?” 

Stan nodded, “Yeah, dude. They kind of decided to go together yesterday. No one really asked anyone, it was just something mutual that happened, I guess, between them. Funny, huh?” Stan noted. 

Kyle let down his eyebrow and nodded slowly yet again, “Yeah, funny.” He stated, still finding the news slightly strange. 

“You’re still going with Nichole I take it?” Stan asked, keeping his voice level. 

“Yeah. Since we went to the middle school ‘prom’ together she thought it’d be cute if we went to the high school one.” Kyle explained, laughing to himself at the end. “And I bet it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she just recently broke up with Token.” 

Stan let out a scoff, “Oh god, yeah; I forgot about that.” He admitted. “So you’re sure you’re fine with being her…rebound?” 

Kyle shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah dude, it’s fine. It’s not like we’re actually dating: it’s just prom.” He brushed off. “I’m surprised you and Wendy aren’t going, even just as friends.” 

Stan shook his head, “Nah, I don’t really want to go there. I already took her to the athletic banquet, and that already made a lot of people think that we started dating again: prom would just push the envelope a little bit too much.” He explained. 

“Fair enough.” Kyle declared. “So…what are you going to do on prom night?” 

Stan laughed as he took another sip from his water bottle. “I could probably just get drunk at home instead of at the after party.” 

“Dude, come on.” Kyle sighed. “Wait, there’s an after party?” 

Stan let out a hard laugh, “Of course. That’s basically why anyone even goes to prom in the first place- so they have a nice outfit to get smashed in after all the pictures are taken.”   
“Fuck, I didn’t even think about that. I’m sure Nichole’s gonna want to go.” Kyle reasoned, Stan nodding in accordance. 

“Yup, I’m sure she is.” He said with a smirk as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Well, I gotta get home to catch up on some shit; you have fun picking out a matching tie.” 

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks.” 

“No problem; what else are super best friends for?” 

 

Stan sat in his room and scanned through Netflix, a beer in his hand and nothing in his brain. Instead of being disappointed that he wasn’t enjoying the prom after party, he decided to become indifferent for the night, something he hadn’t experienced in a while. No thoughts, no obligations. Just time to himself with nothing on his mind. That is, until he heard a faint sound coming from outside. 

“Pssst! Pssst! Stan! Dude!” A familiar voice called out. 

“Huh?” Stan said aloud, crawling across his bed and peering out the window in the direction where the sound was coming from. His eyes went downward to see someone he knew all too well in a state he’d never known before. 

“Kyle?” Stan asked with a broad smile on his face, watching as Kyle did his best to keep himself from toppling over. 

“Hey, there you are!” The red head called out, his styled hair bobbing up and down along with the rest of his body. “Dude, dude, I don’t have much time, but I wanna give you something.” 

“Ok, ok. Just stay there: I’ll let you in. Gimme one sec.” He called back, making his way quickly downstairs and to the back door, letting Kyle in through the sliding glass doors in the kitchen. Once Kyle was inside, it was apparent that going all the way back up to Stan’s room would have been a little too much for the fancily dressed red head to handle, so Stan pulled out a chair at the dining room table and set him down in it, a smile stretched across his face as he observed Kyle’s unusual mannerisms. 

“So obviously you decided to go to the after party?” The inky haired boy laughed. Kyle nodded, his eyelids drooping. 

“Yeah. Wasn’t my choice, though. It, it was Nichole. She wanted to be with her friends.” Kyle managed to explain. “Stan, she’s waiting for me, like, down the street. She, she said she’d give me like ten minutes because she wants to go back. I hope she doesn’t wanna drink anymore. I don’t think she can handle it.” 

Stan put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head, “If she’s anything like how you are right now, I don’t think she can either.” 

Kyle picked his eyes up after hearing Stan’s comment, “Wait, are you disappointed in me?” He questioned. Stan rolled his eyes. 

“No dude, of course not. Do you know how many times I’ve been shitfaced? It’s just funny seeing you like this. No need to be embarrassed. It’s just me, ok?” 

Kyle nodded, “That’s true. And I mean, it wasn’t like I went in there planning to get drunk: I was just so fucking bored there without you and Kenny and Cartman that I just… I dunno, they made shit that tasted like juice and I guess I got carried away.” He admitted. Stan laughed,

“Seriously Kyle, I’m not judging you. Parties without your friends just aren’t the same.” Stan agreed, Kyle nodding in response. 

“Oh, but do you like my suit?” He questioned, straightening himself up in the chair to show Stan. It was an all-black suit with an off-white shirt underneath and a forest green tie. Stan nodded, admiring how even in the dim kitchen lights, the green from the tie brought out his eyes. 

“Yeah dude, it looks great.” He assured. “That’s pretty cool how she let you pick your favourite colour.” 

“Yeah, that was pretty nice of her. I had to go and get these made too: one for me and a girl’s one for her.” He explained, showing Stan the small white and green flower pin that was overtop of a pocket on his chest. 

Stan nodded, “Yeah, those things. I can’t remember what they’re called, but I remember Wendy talked about those sometimes saying that if we ever went to prom she’d want a blue and purple one.” 

A closed mouth smile spread across Kyle’s face as he scratched the back of his neck. “The girl one is called a corsage, and the one for guys is a boutonniere.” Kyle specified, clearing his throat. “That, uh, that reminds me of something.” He went on, leaning back in his chair as he reached deep into his pants pocket. “I uh, when I was at the flower department, they showed me a bunch of samples of different colours that they could do, and I saw this one,” He said in a gentle tone, pulling out a small blue and green boutonniere. “I got this one too because it’s both of our favourite colours. It’s probably stupid and I don’t know where you’ll ever wear it, but I figured since you weren’t going to prom, you might want at least something to do with the tradition. So, uh, here.” Kyle gestured, bringing his shaky hands forward and fastening the tiny flower arrangement to the left side of Stan’s shirt, right overtop of his heart. 

Stan looked down at the delicate green and blue flowers and almost went speechless. “D-dude, Kyle. I, I don’t know what to say.” 

Kyle rolled his eyes at himself, “Yeah, I’m sorry. It, it was pretty dumb of me to buy it.” He stuttered, the alcohol still having an effect on him. Stan shook his head hard.

“No, dude; this is…awesome. Thank you.” He beamed, a smile forming from ear to ear. “I’ll keep it forever.” 

Kyle felt a jolt run through his body at the mention of forever. “Really? Wow, thank god. I thought you were gonna think it was super gay or something.” 

Stan laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair, “Well, maybe it’s a little gay, but that’s fine.” He admitted, watching the corners of Kyle’s mouth curl up. 

“I uh, I should get going though. I can’t make Nichole wait forever.” He explained. 

“Ok. Just, be careful please.” Stan cautioned. 

“Don’t worry; I won’t drink any more.” Kyle told him firmly as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Stan deflated in relief. 

“Ok, good.” He said, helping his friend get up and taking him to the front door. 

“Night, Stan.” Kyle said quietly, catching a glimpse of Nichole waiting from across the street. 

“Night, Kyle. And thanks again.” He added. Kyle spun around and flashed him a warm smile and nod before he returned to his prom date. Maybe Kyle had a night full of memories to make, but Stan was satisfied just looking down at his chest and seeing the tiny flower arrangement. That was all the memories he’d need for that night.

 

~~  
It was 1AM on a Thursday and Kyle had just settled down in his bed. He held his phone above his face and scrolled through YouTube, looking for anything even remotely interesting to watch. He had class early the next morning, so he knew he wouldn’t be scrolling through for long before he started to become tired. He wasted time for another twenty minutes or so before he called it a night, turning off his bedside lamp and tucking himself in. Immediately after he did so, he heard a knock on his dorm room door.   
“The fuck?” He questioned aloud to himself as he got up to investigate. He peeked his eye through the peephole to see a face he definitely didn’t expect to see. 

“Stan? What are you doing here?” Kyle inquired as he pulled open the door slowly, his body already in sleeping mode. “Aren’t you supposed to come up with Kenny and Cartman in a few weeks?” He wondered, observing the raven haired boy’s reaction to his statements. Stan seemed frazzled and anxious: two emotions he rarely displayed. 

“Dude, are you…ok?” Kyle questioned, having not received an answer from him yet that night. Without answering, Stan invited himself in and sat on Kyle’s bed, taking a deep breath once he was seated. 

“You seem really jittery. Did you have some coffee or something?” Kyle asked, Stan nodding in response. 

“Yeah; I needed something to keep me awake when I drove over here.” He piped up, his speech patterns quicker than usual. 

“Stan; you still haven’t answered anything I asked you. Is there a specific reason you wanted to come here? Something so important that you couldn’t text me first to tell me that you were coming? Something that couldn’t wait until, oh, I don’t know, the morning?” Kyle went on in a lighthearted manner. Stan shook his head, an unreadable expression crossing his face. 

“No dude; it couldn’t wait. I wanted to tell you tonight.” He deadpanned. 

With that, Kyle lost his patience, “Stan! What did you want to tell me?” 

“I’m transferring.” He stated bluntly, his dark blue eyes locking with Kyle’s. 

“What?” Kyle deflected back in response, his brain not having yet processed his declaration. 

“I’m changing schools.” 

Kyle stared back at him, dumbfounded. “Stan, why? You have a scholarship and everything there.” 

Stan shrugged his shoulders, “Kyle, that doesn’t matter. I already talked to the coach from the team from the college near here and they said they might have a spot on the team for me if not now, then next semester.” He reasoned, his eyes wide as he explained. “Plus, that college has almost the exact same program.”

Kyle shook his head, “But dude, you had a full ride there.” 

Stan shrugged again, “So? I can still get something and the rest can go on student loans.” Stan shook his head and gave him a warm smile, “Kyle, stop worrying about all that shit: it’s not like I just decided this yesterday. I’ve been figuring this whole thing out for like two months now.” He admitted, his eyes suddenly full of life. 

Kyle ran his hands through his fro and shook his head, “When did you decide this?” he questioned, his voice uncertain. 

Stan looked down at his lap and laughed to himself, “The first day of class.” 

Kyle was in a momentary state of shock, his brain preventing him from being able to articulate all the words that were tumbling around in his mind. 

“Dude, this is awesome. It’s how I always pictured how college would go, but I once we both got the different scholarships, I guess I just accepted the fact that all that was going to change. That…everything would change.” Kyle admitted, his bright green eyes meeting his. “Like, you’re right here. I don’t know, it still feels unreal to me. It feels like you’re going to go back at any second and tell me it was all a joke.” 

Stan shook his head, a closed mouth smile stretched across his face. “Nope. I wouldn’t joke about something like this.” 

Kyle couldn’t stop shaking his head, his brain still coming to terms with the circumstances. “You’re really giving up that awesome football scholarship to come and be here with me?” 

Stan’s dark blue eyes locked onto his best friend’s and nodded. “Yeah, dude; I am. There’ll always be other scholarships, but there’ll never be another you.” 

The combination of Stan’s words and his actions made Kyle’s heart melt. An overwhelming sense of gratitude washed over him to the point where he placed his hand on his chest. 

“Dude, I could kiss you.” Kyle said as he shook his head. The sides of Stan’s mouth curled up. 

“Then do it.” He stated. 

Kyle raised an eyebrow, “Wait, what?” 

Stan shrugged, “I won’t stop you.” He whispered in a low voice, his eyes still locked on Kyle’s. 

“Dude, this is crazy. You’re straight: you can’t just…suggest things like that.” Kyle barked back, confused. 

Stan laughed to himself, “Ok, try this. Let’s pretend for a second that I’m not totally straight and that, actually, I’m not really sure what to call myself. Let’s pretend that I’ve always felt something stronger than friendship with my best friend for the past…god knows how many years, but I never did anything about it because, fuck, I didn’t even get it.” Stan declared, his voice strong and certain, unlike anything Kyle had heard from him in a long time. 

“But guess what? I don’t wanna pretend anymore. I don’t want to just keep pretending like nothing was going on in my head that I just couldn’t explain. I didn’t really understand what it was for so long, but that first day of college, that first day when I realised how far away you were and the fact that I wouldn’t just be able to walk next door and see you… that’s when I knew.” He finalised, taking a deep breath. All Kyle could do was sit next to him on the bed, mouth agape. 

“S-stan, I had no idea.” He told him honestly. Stan let out a chuckle,

“Yeah, neither did I.” He declared. There was a long and heavy silence that hung in the room. Neither of them dared to look away; they barely even breathed. 

After some time had passed, Stan broke the silence with a gulp, “Does what I said scare you?” 

Kyle thought about the question momentarily. Stan literally just admitted to having deeper feelings for me that he’d been harbouring for years; shouldn’t that freak me out even a little bit? Kyle asked himself. The red head shook his head, a crooked smile crossing his face. 

“No, actually. It doesn’t.” Kyle admitted aloud, not only to Stan but to himself. 

It was then that a whole lifetime of experiences they shared together flashed before their eyes. Stan and Kyle exchanged one of their signature looks, but in that loaded look, they finally came to terms with who they were looking at. They weren’t just looking at their best friends. They were looking at a beautiful guy they’d shared nearly every experience with they ever had, good and bad. They were looking at the person they went to for comfort; the person they went to when they wouldn’t and couldn’t talk to anyone else. The person who understood them so well that they could communicate entire conversations with a look. It was a person unlike any other, someone they shared a bond with that no one else ever seemed to be able to come close to sharing. For all those years, they both thought it was just really, really good friendship, but reflecting now, they both realised that that’s not all it was. 

They both knew what goo friendship was: they had Kenny and Cartman for that. Those guys were good friends. Those were the guys they shared all their experiences with too, the ones they went to the moon and back with, literally. So if they knew good friendship so well, how come Stan and Kyle always had the urge to be alone with each other? How come they could call each other to tell them the most mundane and lame shit that anyone else, even their best of friends, would find boring and useless? How come they felt a chill run down their spines whenever a word would hit their ear in a specific place, sending a shiver through their whole body? How come right when one of them left, all they wanted to do was ask them when the soonest possible time they could see each other again was? How come no long term girlfriend or prom date would ever cut it? Why did anyone who asked them out just feel so…wrong? So…inadequate? What were they waiting for? 

It was in that moment, with all those thoughts flying through each other’s heads, that they knew it was now or never. They had to see what it felt like; what years of pent up confusion and inner questioning really amounted to. Stan and Kyle simultaneously leaned forward until they were a nose apart. Stan used one hand to cup Kyle’s angular face and looked deep into those eyes that seemed so far away for so long. 

“This feels so right.” Stan whispered, his words bouncing off the red head’s flushed cheeks. Kyle let out a tiny laugh. 

“I know. It does.” He admitted softly. They both knew where this was going, so without holding back any longer, they went for it. Kyle was the first to close his eyes, his soft lips coming into contact with Stan’s in way they never had before. Right after their lips touched, everything finally made sense. Stan reciprocated quickly, delving his lips in further, taking in everything the red head was going to give him. It was a kiss they never had before, a kiss they ever knew could exist. Sure, they both had the technique there, but it wasn’t even that: it was the emotional pull that went along with it. Never had they invested so many feelings into one moment before in their lives. They never expected that anything like that could ever be felt by anyone. All they could think of was how lucky they were to be in that moment, and how nothing else would ever be able to compare with that again. Ever. 

If this was what each other tasted like, what true, raw feelings tasted like, they knew they could never let it go. 

They finally pulled away, their lips already longing to be brought back together. Stan smiled to himself and shook his head,

“God, how were we so stupid? Think of all the time we missed out on.” He said softly, his hand still caressing Kyle’s warm face. All Kyle could do was smile, smile a more meaningful smile than he had in…god, years.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to make up for it now, you know, considering you’ll be living here.” He suggested. Stan’s eyes lit up, the reality feeling real for the first time.

“You’re right, I will be.” He grinned. “So you’re ok with ruining this friendship?” Kyle couldn’t help but laugh again, running his hand gently through the raven haired boy’s hair. 

“Dude, I think we’ve already been doing that for years.”


End file.
